What a Night...

Well...where to begin? I guess I can start off by saying that last night was definitely one of the more emotional nights I've ever been through. As you may have read in my last post, Dr. McDonald had wanted me to stop taking the Procardia and said that if Brooke decided to come after getting off the medication, we will let her come! Well, I stopped taking the Procardia Wednesday night. My last dose was at 7:30. Not even twenty-four hours had passed when I began having consistent contractions at about every 15 minutes. At that time, they weren't really anything to worry about since they were still so far apart and I wasn't in any pain, just a little uncomfortable. As the night went on, the contractions began to get closer and closer. Eventually they were coming at about every 8 minutes. Reagan and I already had a bag packed, but we had some last minute things that still needed to be put in the bag. So, we decided to go ahead and get all of that together and call Dr. McDonald. She said to go ahead and make our way to the hospital. At that point, I got pretty nervous, while Reagan got very excited! We were going to have a baby! ...or so we thought.

When we got to the hospital, they took me into the triage room to see how far along I was. When the nurse examined me, she said I was still about 2-3cm dilated...the same as when I saw Dr. M on Tuesday. So, she called the doctor to see what we should do. I was still having continuous contractions about every 7-8 minutes. Well, when the nurse came back in, she said Dr. M had told her to give me a shot of Terbutaline to stop my contractions... Reagan and I were instantly confused. She had just told me Tuesday to stop taking Procardia, even though she knew I was dilated and having labor contractions!! AND, she told me that it was very possible that Brooke would be here this week. So, WHY on earth is she trying to stop them AGAIN?? I understand that I am only 35 weeks along, but don't tell me that it's okay to have her and then two days later turn around and say "NO, we have to keep her in your belly". I put all of my trust in the doctors I see, and this action of hers made me wonder what was going on and why she was doing this. Anyways, we asked to speak with Dr. M directly before the nurse gave us any medication. Dr. M said that since I wasn't dilated anymore than when she last saw me, we needed to try to stop the contractions because they weren't putting me into full blown labor yet. She gave us a few options...1.) take the Terbutaline 2.) Take the Procardia or 3.) go home and see what happens... Well, I had JUST gotten to the hospital, so I began to think "what if we got here too early and what if I start to dilate once the contractions get even closer?" So we decided to wait at the hospital to see if anything changed. The nurse said she would come back to check me in an hour and if I hadn't dilated, we would go from there. So...after about an hour, when she checked me, I was a full 3cm dilated. This appearantly wasn't enough, and I certainly didn't want to go home because I was now in pain as my contractions started to get closer together! So, we decided to just stick with Procardia. We were taken to an L&D room for the night for observation. Not long after I was in there, my contractions intensified soooo much! I just knew that this was labor pains I was feeling, however I had just taken the Procardia! So, now the labor I was probably going into, was now being stopped by medication. Once the medicine took its full effect, the contractions had spaced out to about 6 minutes apart and weren't as instense, but still a bit painful. I just kept thinking...if I hadn't taken the medicine, we'd probably be in full blown labor by now! This was bittersweet, though...I so badly was ready to welcome Brooke into our lives, but I knew it was best for her to stay put as long as she could...and at the same moment, I was so mad at my doctor! If she had just kept me on the Procardia, NONE of this would have happened! I wouldn't have had to go through this roller coaster of a night. My nurse came back in at around 6:30am for my next dose of Procardia. I asked her to check me just to see if anything had changed because of those really intense contractions I had had before the medicine kicked in. When she checked, I was a good 3.5cm dilated, 80% effaced and she could feel the bag of waters. So, again, I wonder if I hadn't taken the meds, would we have had a baby? I guess we will never know...

Later on that morning, Dr. M came in to see me. She said I should probably go ahead and take the Procardia until I am 37 weeks along...should have told me that TUESDAY!!! She did say that I could go home and not take anything, but why would I want to put myself through this mess agian. Doesn't make any sense to me. So, needless to say, Reagan and I have been an emotional wreck today. I've cried so much today, all from only getting one hour of sleep, being mad at my doctor, and being disappointed about not getting to meet Brooke...although I know that this is best for her. This whole experience has made me lose some of my trust in my doctor unfortunately. I put my health and the health and life of my baby in her hands and trust her to make professional decisions on what's best for us. However, going through all this has put me under so much stress and confusion that I don't think I can completely trust what she wants us to do from here on out. I know this will all work out in the end, and we will have a beautiful baby girl to bring home with us, but for right now, I am very upset with how things have turned out. So, now I'm back at home, still having contractions, but taking the Procardia for the next 2 weeks. I hope that my next visit to the hospital will finally be for the birth of Brooke!!!!